trace of footsteps

do you ever feel how bad it is losing something that you love so much? such a horrible feeling. you feel like want to vomit all the time. everything that you swallow taste like coarse sand. every time you want to breathe, you can feel there is a huge blockage blocking your air passage. you want to cry so badly, but your tear ducts are dry. nothing is spilling.

you know it is gone, but you don't know how to let it go. the only sound you heard is the sound it made when you were around. the only way that can make you go on is the memories, but to be truth, you won't stand that long. you feel like want to fall asleep as long as you can and wake up by tomorrow morning pretending that there is nothing wrong. but how could you as every second you spend in your life, it was there. how about the plans you made for it? every step you take, you never stop thinking about it.

how to move on when the only thing you know is being with it? you keep asking to yourself, "could i just sleep and never wake up?". how to continue on when you can't even make a move? how to keep going when you don't know how to breathe without it? the pain of thousands of knives stabbing you chest is nothing compare to what you feel right now. in fact, nothing could describe it.

if you got the chance to talk to it, you would say, "before you leave me, you should teach me how to live without you!". but, who are you, to know everything that had been destined for you. the only thing you can do now is nothing. simply nothing.