getting married?????

how does it feels? not that i'm gatal-ing. hesy! i just want to know what it is like having someone by your side. it is more than merely having boyfriend, isn't it? i'm talking about having a man, who we called 'husband' in our life. sincerely, i do feel scared thinking about one day i could be somebody's wife. the thoughts that i have to bestow upon him my life dawdle me from really get into the exciting mode when it comes to marriage. it is not only you are facing the new phase of your life, frankly, it is more than that. it is sort of a vow you make not only to yourself, but also to your husband. i come to realize that marriage is actually beautiful when you know how to organize it well, when you have the spirit of team work, the unconditional love, consideration, be prepared to receive each others' flaws. marriage is utterly a sacred promise to live a life together. it is not a normal relationship that you can back off from it anytime. it is not as easy as ABC, indeed it is more difficult than phonology (don't know what is phonology? then, good for you. hehe) in a simple say, marriage is not easy, yet so unpredictable. beyond our expectation, indeed. as far as i know, when the right time has come, i'll face it like a grown up woman. insyaAllah. dear Allah S.W.T, please give me the strength to hold onto my feeling towards him. please let me say, 'he is the one'. for once and for all, i just need to be by his side. he is the only person who can say 'you always do something crazy, but still i love you so much'. how can i stop loving a person who completely love me for who i am? through thick and thin, love, i will be there for you. we'll make it last. insyaAllah.

mummy...sayang adik x?

i always ask my mum that question and the answer is always

"tengok dulu!"

or

"ape yg adik dah buat??"

mummy ni! but you know what i never tired asking that question. i know deep inside her heart only god knows how much she loves me.

dear mummy,

you are my everything. you show me how hard life is and how strong we have to be. no matter what kind of trial god gives us, we can get through it mummy. adik sayang mummy sangat2. even i can be so 'nakal' and stubborn at certain time, but you won't give up on me right? mummy once told me that you don't regret what had happened in your life, because you got a beautiful daughter like me. you touch my heart, mummy. in every single way, you are the best. it is so blessed being a daughter of a mother like you. i remember u told me that the moment you got through the hardest phase of your life, i came and gave you a very wonderful life. i'm the cure to any of your pain. mummy, you are my strength. you have been protecting me since forever. now, mummy i'm your 19 years old daughter. i'm not that little girl anymore, who always abandon her homeworks for playground, who would burn your rm1 only on 5 ice cream malaysia, who would disturbing you when she couldn't sleep at night (well, apparently, i'm still doing it. hehe) i'm your grown up daughter now mummy syg. i have to face this life by my own. it is not that i don't need you anymore. how can i live without you? give me this chance to learn my own life. let me fall. let me get hurt. i know life isn't that great. i know you want to do everything that you can to keep me from harm. let me fly and if i fall, just let me be. i will get up by myself and look at you and thank you for your presence. i love you so much mummy. that won't change. one more thing, don't ask me if you look okay, because you know the answer.

i love you just the way you are.

muaxx!!!

oath of love

at certain circumstances, we come to realize how a simple act can lead to huge agony. we ask everything we want from our beloveds. we are blinded with their promise to fulfill what we need, but we forgot that they are human, just like us. they can't play god accomplishing our needs. they are just ordinary people. they have their disabilities. as a person who deeply in love with them, putting them in that situation could wholly kill their heart, not entirely dead though but the pain won't leave. embrace what have they gave to us because every second is a chance for us to be with them. don't ever blow that away. life is not entirely about us. it's about we and them. we and the person we care about. we fight the battle, which is life in every single moment of our life. sometimes we tend to fight against our beloveds. it's life, it's truth. but the real thing is we and them are both at the same side, same team. we recite our oath the moment we fall in love. we put on our love, it may a sort of paradox to wholly discover, but it's more than anything. because, truly, love interprets the meaning that precisely portrays what is life.