from small to big

i wish i could erase all of mistakes that i have done. i wish i could wipe them out with my little fingers. but mistakes are not that easy to wipe out, not that painless to erase. MISTAKES ARE THE BEGINNING OF DISCOVERY. no doubt about that.

HOW ABOUT REPEATED MISTAKES?

we do that. frequently. regardless of all the tears we spilled, mistakes still been repeated over and over again. we create a deep wounded cut inside our beloveds' heart. it is hurt whenever they say no sorry or promises can stop you from doing it again. sometimes, we never realize. i make myself believe that my mistakes will be haunting me. we are not that noble to be a 'mistakes-proof'. but for how long they will be there? picking back the pieces of their heart? saying to us it's okay?

WHAT IF THERE IS AN END?

what if they will be so tired? instead of hugging us, they will push us away. one day it will happen. since there is no heart left to be revamp, leaving is the best decision.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME...

for every single thing that i have done, i beg for forgiveness. i have nothing to defense myself. i will do mistakes again, despite how simple it is. please scold me and i will fix it. i promise to myself to try not to do same mistakes again. i know how lame it sounds. but, how i never tired promise to be nice you, that how u should never be tired accepting me.

acquaintance.

i love the fact that all of us are friends.

i love the moment we make it fun.

i love the fact that we still the same.

i love the fact that we still be there.

i love the memory of we being close.

i love the second when we laugh.

i love the time when we cry.

i love the minute when we fight for our future.

i love the way we hold our ambitions.

i love all the bewildering when we figure out

how difficult being an adult.

i love when we come to grasp that life isn't that easy.

i love when we tell each other to be strong

and face the precision.

i love the time when i fall in love with one of you.

i love that i still am falling in love.

i love the fact that my friends are like clover.

so hard to find, yet so easy to love.

ultimately to my BFF-mummy and Rizal

to all my wondrous friends- 1A, 2A, and 3A Foundation in B.Ed (TESL)

april, 12

Malaysian University English Test

Ya Allah, can't it sounds any scarier? i will be having my speaking test tomorrow. i'm in deep trouble. bottomless and thick trouble. what if i failed this one? what if i will get only band 1? i need to get at least band 4. with my abilities, will i able to achieve that?

my heart couldn't stop shivering. it is like the matter of life and death. okay, it is not that deep though. i hope i will nail it.

please dear Allah, bless my baby, me and my fellow friends. please give us the serenity and tranquility to face our MUET test. help us to be super duper eloquent on that day.

amin....

songs of heart

i'm not the kind of person who loves nowadays songs. i like some of them but not all of them. to me, the melody is good and catchy but its ruined by the insignificant lyrics. there is no real meaning of songs. songs are created to unify people, to teach mankind how to get through the obstacles, to give us a lesson of life, to celebrate love, to show appreciation.

i was born in 1992. basically, i'm equally exposed similar to other teens out there. but to the truth is i'm an oldies person. i love old songs. Wham, Scorpion, Debbie Gibson, Bonnie Taylor, Cindy Lauper, Bon Jovi. you name it, i love most of them. i feel like i was born in their era. my mom's era. i love their songs. usually, i will fight with my cousins when we get into the car. he is literary hear to hitz.fm day and night. he would yell at me when i tune to lite.fm and typically my rizal will defend me as he is the old songs fan too. in fact, the first time i hear about him (even though he was my classmate) was when my English teacher, Miss Laila told how impressed she was, reading rizal's essay with the usage of hotel california-the eagles lyrics. i was too! truthfully, he is better than me.

okay back to my main point, some people like the way old songs bring out the emotion of the melody. but some says old songs are only for old people. clearly, that is a vague assumption. some also say nowadays songs are more fascinating than the old ones.

last but not least, people are different but yet, they are similar.

not again?????

i received a pretty shocking news just now. through facebook to be exact. my ex-schoolmate is engaged. whatta?? for real??

i been scolding myself for twenty mins ago. darn it! i'm nineteen. basically, she is nineteen too. it is suitable age to get engaged with someone. well, in my opinion, nineteen is too early to get engaged, yet to get married. too small to hold onto huge commitment. but when the jodoh comes, no one can fight it. it is a destiny that we, as a human can't change.

if i decide to get engaged this early, my mummy will chase me around the house with the biggest pot she owns.

i still assume myself as my mum's little girl and my baby's little sayang. i'm not that grown up. i'm still not prepare to hold onto that commitment. but apparently, some of my friends around my age has decided to tie the knot as quickly as they can. get engaged at nineteen, married at twenty and have kids at their early twenties.

my time will come. sooner or later. i just want to wait. don't want to plan, don't to set up high hope. when the right moment has come, someone will be my fiancée. it's all about the right moment and the perfect person.

to MIMI AFIZA, you may not read my blog or may not remember me. but never mind. congratulation on your beautiful engagement ceremony. hope you and you fiancée will make it last till blissful marriage. amin.